|
Home | Back |
|
| |
BY DAVID CRUMM
FREE PRESS
COLUMNIST
September 24, 2003
BY DAVID CRUMM
FREE PRESS COLUMNIST
On a crisp autumn evening 30 years ago, I came home from college for the first time, and I still recall the sudden flood of emotion as I was immersed once more in the rich smells of roast beef and baking bread in my mother's kitchen.
|
|
|
LAST WEEK: We asked about popular religious music and many readers reminded us that metro Detroit is home to a host of musicians who provide daily inspiration for countless fans, even though their CDs are a little hard to find. Susan Shanaman, a middle school teacher from Southfield, says she loves CDs by the gospel choir at Renaissance Unity Church in Warren. "The Gospel Truth" is her favorite. "I've nearly worn it out. It's like listening to a special sermon for the day," she said. Two local acts with a strong spiritual message that anyone can sample on the Internet are Michael Krieger of Ferndale and the duo of Steve and Caitlin Klaper, based in Berkley. Krieger writes joyous, thoughtful songs. In his album, "Abundance," he sings at one point: "Silly, sad or serious, every song's a prayer. So, if you've got a prayer to spare, just sing." And he does, at http://www.michaelkrieger.com/. The Klapers perform an eclectic blend of music, ranging from folk and jazz to a Latin beat. Many of their lyrics come directly from the Bible. Samples are at http://www.klaper.com/. THIS WEEK: Tell us about a religious tradition in your family
that you fondly remember. E-mail ourspirit@ |
So, when author Debra Darvick described to me the longing for home that's a part of the Jewish high holidays for so many people, I knew exactly what she meant, though I'm not Jewish myself.
"Holidays are big unifiers for families," she said. Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year, starts at sundown Friday with synagogue services and family dinners. "The pull of home is so strong at the holidays: the smells, the family connections, the traditions."
This year, the new year and Yom Kippur, a solemn day of fasting that starts at sundown Oct. 5, mark two milestones for Darvick: After seven years of work, her book about Jewish culture in America has been published. Plus, she has been invited by Temple Beth El in Bloomfield Township to preach a Yom Kippur sermon.
Those are heady honors but, truth be told, what really is weighing on her mind this week is that this is the second year her son Elliot, 19, won't be home for the holidays. It's impossible to spend an hour with her or her husband, Martin Darvick, without sensing that Elliot and their daughter, Emma, 16, are the sun and moon by which they chart the course of their days. Family photos and mementos decorate every room in their Birmingham home.
Debra Darvick's book is called "This Jewish Life: Stories of Discovery, Connection and Joy" (Eakin Press; $19.95). She tells 52 inspirational true stories about people connecting with Judaism. But, someday, that title could serve for her own memoirs.
She and her husband did not grow up with many home-based Jewish customs, so they decided to raise their children with an unwavering commitment to Sabbath rituals on Friday nights. That meant requiring the kids to be home, lighting candles with Emma and pronouncing blessings over Emma and Elliot.
The idea sounded so ideal that I wanted to hear Elliot's perspective and reached him on his cell phone between classes at Washington University in St. Louis.
He chuckled when I asked about the years of devoting every Friday night to his family. "Yeah, I fought a lot of battles with my parents over that," he admitted, "but I came to appreciate it."
So much so that now, Elliot phones home every Friday evening for a long-distance blessing. "Mom asks me to stand up. Then, I close my eyes."
In Hebrew, his mother intones ancient verses from the Bible: "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord's face shine upon you and be gracious to you . . . and give you peace."
"Then Dad does a blessing in English," Elliot said. "I always look forward to Fridays now."
But he won't make it home for the holidays. Once again, Elliot will go to Jewish services on campus; then he'll dine with a St. Louis family that has adopted him for the holiday meal.
As I was saying good-bye, he added, "You know? Back home? I actually dreaded the high holidays as a kid -- getting dressed up and sitting through long services. But it's different now."
"How so?" I asked.
"Well, now it's my decision," he said. "College is about defining yourself. And I'm choosing to make Judaism a part of my life."
As I hung up, I thought: Perhaps it is an independent choice -- or perhaps it is a heartfelt turning toward home.
I told his mother about our conversation, and she smiled. "You try to make a loving home, and you hope that creates connections your kids can treasure later -- even if they don't know it's a treasure at the time you're doing it."
For more on the book, visit http://www.debradarvick.com/.
Copyright © 2003 Detroit Free Press Inc.